—SPIRITUAL ROADTRIP—TOP 10 LESSONS: PART 1

FIRST STOP: BIG BEND

LESSON 1:

IN ORDER TO BE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF, YOU MUST KNOW YOURSELF-NOT WHAT SOCIETY WANTS YOU TO BE.

Only my first stop was planned: Big Bend State Park (State because dogs). Big Bend offered no cell service and a lack of water. Exactly what I needed. As soon as I picked out my campsite, I found a bone—something I have always been intrigued with. Mother Earth was letting me know I was in the right place and she was guiding me. I could feel my connection with her ensuing. I yoga’d with the mountains, pulled Oracle cards at sunset, explored the desert with my pups, sunk my toes into the thicc mud, snacked with the stars. I already felt more accepting of myself than I had when I was in the city. There was no one around to compare myself to, to tell me how to act or dress—I was free to be me, no expectations. And I had another two months to go.

I woke up the next day, COVERED in dirt, in the middle of my air mattress like a hot dog and Zo/Oz as the hot dog buns: I broke it dragging it across sites the night before. I also didn’t put my rain fly on opting for the fresh air.

Another goal of mine for this trip—to not buy any water. A natural resource to all of us with zero need to utilize a multitude of plastic. So, I brought my Berkey water filter/container. I can say I successfully did not buy any water for the two-month trip. However, I did run out in Big Bend and had to leave camp a day early. My pups are thirsty creatures and the desert is dryyyyy as fuck. Where I found myself next, was an excluded oasis in the desert along the border of Texas and Mexico: Chinati Hot Springs.

SECOND STOP: CHINATI HOT SPRINGS

LESSON 2:

ALWAYS LIVE FOR YOURSELF, LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING, EVEN IF PEOPLE ARE.

I stopped in Presidio, Texas for coffee. That was about all there was. I decided I deserved a hot shower and cold springs. So, I looked into my book of hot springs & saw there was one a few hours away. Only the open road stood between us. I took the only road there. NOT A SINGLE CAR THE ENTIRE DRIVE! I did what I always dreamt of and stopped in the middle of the road to take a picture. It was exhilarating and freeing, something so simple. No worries about who saw me, because there was no one there to see me. Then I remembered…this is how everyone is supposed to live— like no one is watching, TRULY!

I arrived to get the last casita. I took a hot shower with the spring water, filled up my Berkey, and took the dogs on a hike. I basked in the cold springs, under the large oak trees in the middle of the desert. I was in heaven, with no end in sight and no work to return to. I needed this life, always. My mind began to reel with how I could make my life happen without my career. Not daydreaming, but the real planning & scheming.

I made friends with the other travelers & they wondered how I was pulling this solo trip off. One traveler, Billie, collected pretty rocks from the riverbed and told me about the painted cliffs ‘thataway’. Her husband was from Great Brittain; She acted like she hated him, but I could tell they would be together forever. When I was leaving, she ran after my truck waving one of her headscarves. It’s still in my suitcase and smells of her. She collected what she believed to be a knuckle bone for me. I gave her a rosemary bundle from my garden back home. We still text randomly. She admired me and my fearlessness.

As I reflected further on people’s awe and questions of me, I reminded myself that life is so short, so bittersweet and our society puts us into this silly machine for no reason other than evil control, all selfish reasons—money mainly. And to that I says FUCK EM- why don’t we all rebel and do what makes us happy: trade our services, goods, specialties, and live freely in every sense of the word?

STOP 3: CARLSBAD CAVERNS

LESSON 3:

YOU ARE NOT FOR EVERYONE; THE MORE YOU STEP INTO YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF THE MORE YOU WILL ATTRACT YOUR TRIBE.

Although I was solo traveling, community was very important during my travels. To find out the best places to visit, whether it be a local haunt or my next city, you need to connect with others. For some reason, when I am traveling it is easier for me to connect with others. I am more embodied in my authentic self. As soon as I arrived to my BLM campsite, I had 45 mph winds to set up a tent in. The solo men traveling looked on as I struggled and didn’t respond to the jokes I would crack. Fair enough, I wanted to set up my tent on my own-how else was I on this solo road trip? & so I did.

The next couple of days, families, solo travelers, couples, dogs would come and go. Some stayed inside their traveling containers, others came out to connect. The latter were my people, they ended up being my favorite people I met. John, Luc, Dan & myself: all coming from different parts of North America and deciding to stay for an entire week together, coming and going to our own callings. But, staying for the solar eclipse. We traded goods and services throughout our stay. Community was built & I still talk to them til this day. I found a desert oasis where I would hike, yoga, & meditate.

Another solo-female camper told me about a local selenite mound (free for the taking so long as the rattlesnakes didn’t get me). I collected some pieces and skedaddled, afraid the snakes would get the pups & then I explored the caverns. Unfortunately, traveling with dogs in a tent, made my cavern tour rushed. But wow what a sight to see. The intricacies of the moist dripping stalactites & stalagmites, very sexual if I am being honest (see photo above and tell me otherwise).

I watched the bats leave at night. The smell and sight are indescribable; I returned to watch them another night. I had to smell them again, it was indescribable (Human Design sense of smell). I had an intentional date every night with the sunset.

STOP 4: TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES

LESSON 4:

STAND UP AND SPEAK OUT FOR YOURSELF; THIS IS SELF-RESPECT/CARE.

I arrived to this cute, quaint hippy town at a camping hot springs location. After I set up my tent, scoped out the other hot campers & showered my stank ass, I realized Ozzy & Zoso were acting wild, panting, red, whining. It was new to leave them chained up at the tent while I showered elsewhere. I could hear Ozzy bark as soon as I exited the shower vicinity. But what I didn’t realize was that the bugs flying amuck when I was setting up site…were the infamous chiggers I had always heard of. I panicked over the impending confrontation that was required to take care of myself and the babes. But I didn’t have a choice. I called Luc to ask him what to do, he had never heard of chiggers. Canada, eh? Alas, I was used to confrontations in the legal world, but they were always in toxic masculine containers. Arguing with men who didn’t realize I was 10 years my face, aka more educated and experienced than they presumed. I was comfortable in that toxicity by now. Anything or anywhere else, my Libra Moon squirms when it comes to standing up for myself to the detriment of others, but they refunded me, and I found myself at a local motel, Desert View Inn.

Luc, the Canadian motorcyclist from Carlsbad, met me in TOC. We dined, shopped, hot springed, & explored. But I yearned for the wilderness and Gila National Forest was calling my name.

STOP 5: GILA WILDERNESS & SILVER CITY

LESSON 5:

SURRENDER TO THE UNIVERSE, NOT YOUR THOUGHTS.

The drive to Gila was so beautiful, I finally entered the mountains with no cell service again. Luc left sooner than I did, but somehow, I ran into him in the mountains. He was curving around the mountain in the opposite direction. Luckily, we both saw each other. I did not know where I was going to stay but I told him the direction I was heading. Per usual, I asked the Universe to guide me to where I was meant to be. I drove to the top of the mountains, with no way out but the way I came. I set up camp on the top of a cliff. It was freezing, but the days that followed brought sunshine and warmth. My Sun God is the one thing I will chase: him & water. And wouldn’t you know, I found another free spring, flowing with fresh water and no one around, directly below my campsite. I made lunch by the water, bathed, and then headed into Silver City (soooo cute). I chased the smoke forest fighters were creating, little did I know that meant I couldn’t make it back to the top of the mountain until it became pitch black (even if I tried to flirt my back up, they weren’t having it).

As upset as I was, I knew the Universe had me waiting at the foothills for a reason. I met a man, Everard, who was traveling in his silver VW bus; It was dreamy, so was he. He gave me a bundle of 10+ maps and told me of all the places he had been. I was heading that direction in the next couple of days. I spent the afternoon hiking the dry riverbed, collecting bones Mother Nature left for me as reassurance; I was exactly where I was meant to be. I eventually made it back to camp where Luc was set up. He froze all night and left the next day after we explored the Gila Dwellings. I couldn’t make my mind up on whether to stay or go. With no service to guide me, normally I would sit and meditate on this. So, my mind got the best of me, and I worried I would never see Luc again if I didn’t leave and follow him (remember no cell service).

I have a really hard time with goodbyes-abandonment issues run deep. So, I made the hasty decision and I left. I still never saw him again. I drove to meet him and couldn’t find his camp, it was getting dark, so I pulled off to a little campsite where no one was around. This is the only time during my trip I felt unsafe. Hurried, in my mind, setting up camp in the dark, with no one around & I smelled cigarette smoke. I yelled into the forest… “helloooo?” no response. I got my 3-inch knife out of my car and zipped my tent up. The next morning a bicyclist rode out from the forest with his camping gear. Guess he didn’t want to say hi the night before…

My nose never fails me (human design sense of smell), but my mind does sometimes. Reminder: slow down, be comfortable with being with yourself, trust & surrender to the Universe. When you’re hasty, you jeopardize your safety.

P.S. if you are Everard and still have that VW bus, I want to buy it.